Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
