You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
