i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
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