Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
