he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
