From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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