Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
