how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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