You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
