i think i have two assholes
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
