if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
