I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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