My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
