Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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