The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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