i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
His hands were made for my vagina.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
