I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Randomize
