i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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