did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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