My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You're like the curious george of whores
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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