and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
