I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
