So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
