At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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