Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
