So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Randomize
