girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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