man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
