Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
