I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
