i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
