And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
