Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
