I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
