But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
