i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
