You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
