Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
