I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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