i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
