batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
