Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
