I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
