so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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