he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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