Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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