We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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