so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
