you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
