Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
