We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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